12 Lessons We Learned From 2014’s Summer Movies
1. Marvel cannot be stopped.
Marvel Studios came into the summer from a position of strength, having scored the year’s first big smash with Captain America: The Winter Soldier. (Globally, the star-spangled sequel grossed $350 million more than the first Captain America.) All of Marvel’s Phase 2 sequels have outgrossed their immediate sub-franchise predecessors: proof of the Avengers halo effect. But what would happen when Marvel stretched outside of its Avengers wheelhouse? Could they launch a new franchise with zero name recognition—especially when that franchise looks nothing at all like their other movies, or hell, any other movie on the market right now?
And so Guardians of the Galaxy stormed into theaters. It made all the money. It earned raves from critics—and Iron Man! In a year or so, we might retroactively decide that Guardians also hit the market at a moment when moviegoers suddenly learned to love space movies again—one year after Gravity, we’re cusping on Interstellar and a new era of annual Star Wars movies. But for right now, the only thing that’s really certain is that Marvel turned one of their fringiest fringe franchises into a megahit.
2. Michael Bay also cannot be stopped.
Good news for humanity: Trans4mers grossed significantly less domestically than Trans3mers. Bad news for everyone: Age of Extinction is the year’s only hit to top $1 billion worldwide. Bay took a victory lap in August by producing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a canny Nolanization of a nostalgia-bait franchise that joined Guardians in lifting up the end-of-summer doldrums. You could argue that Bay’s success is just an example of savvy franchise profiteering—he’s not making any movies about weird raccoons—but 2014 reconfirmed his status as the demon god of teenage boys everywhere.
do you ever walk to the beat of your music in public and you think you look really cool but you probably just look like a dumbass
they saved her life
Y’all don’t understand what this scene means to me. This Christian girl wearing the flower crown and the white bedsheet was going to murder Piper for not kowtowing to her homophobic bullshit. Like, Piper is out here about to get shanked when the inmate counselor is within ear shot and can see what’s about to go down. Piper calls out for help, and the counselor turns his back and leaves, knowing full well that Piper might die. This is what a lot of Pacifists don’t understand: you can not react in a non-violent manner to someone who is trying to kill you. You have to be able to use the appropriate amount of force to disarm them, and thanks to these fantastic women of color, Piper didn’t die. This scene was everything.
I’ve been waiting my whole life for this gif set
hot things to say during sex:
- aw man i shot marvin in the face
- silly caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords
- you got two jobs; kiss good, and make sure my hair don’t get wet
- the d is silent
- [faking Italian with a southern accent] bon jorno
- BECAUSE IT’S SO MUCH FUN JAN
THE WRITER OF OZYMANDIAS, MOIRA WALLEY-BECKETТHow did you end up working on Breaking Bad?
I came on board in Season 2. I was obsessed with the show after watching it in Season One. I was working on another show at the time and the writer’s strike hit and suddenly I had all this time on the picket line and I just couldn’t stop thinking about Breaking Bad.
So I wrote a spec script and my agent was like, “Don’t fucking do that. That’s ridiculous. You can’t write a spec script on a show you actually want to work on. You have to write a spec script of some other cable show and then I can get it to Vince Gilligan’s producers.
But I can get kind of crazy obsessive like that and I just had the need to write it. I had the characters voices stuck in my head.
On the very day I was being offered a job on a network show my agent got me a meeting with Melissa Bernstein, one of the producers on Breaking Bad, basically just to shut me up. I went in and met her and I mentioned that I’d written a spec and she was like, “Really?” She was completely shocked and said that Vince would be so thrilled to know that someone loved the show enough to write a spec.
I felt like a goofy fan girl (which I was) and when she asked me “What’s it about?” I just sort of pitched it out.
I guess she liked the pitch because she was like, “Wow. Can I read it?” and I said, “I’m pretty sure there’s like six reasons why not.” And she looks me in the eye and says, “Can I read it?”. It was a Vegas moment. A gamble.
At this point I’m getting offered another job that afternoon and I haven’t finished Act 4 of the Breaking Bad spec. I told her she could read it and I’d get it to her the next morning.
So, I went to the job interview. They offered me the job. I went home. I finished Act 4 that night. I sent it to my agent the next morning, a Friday. He read it. He sent it to Melissa. Melissa read it. She sent it to Vince.
Come Monday, I’m sitting by the phone thinking, “What’s going to happen in my life?” And the other show is going, “Okay, we made the offer when are you going to counter? What’s happening?” and we’re like, “Just a second.” I didn’t hear anything all day. It was the world’s longest day, let me tell you.
Finally, at 4 o’clock that Monday afternoon I get a call. “Vince Gilligan wants to meet you.”
So I jumped in my car and raced across town and… it was kismet. He uttered the best sentence ever to me. With his sweet Virginia accent, he says, “I don’t know how you did that. I don’t know how you knew the characters so well, but my intention is to offer you a job — I just don’t know if I have a job to offer.” And I was like, “I’ll TAKE IT!” and he’s like, “Wait, wait, wait you better talk to your agent. Because we don’t even have a pickup and I don’t know what’s going to happen.”And I was like, “I’ll TAKE IT!”
So I turned down the other job and I waited. I waited for over 6 weeks to hear if there was even going to be any more Breaking Bad at all.
Finally, they got picked up for Season Two and I’ve been on the show ever since.
- person: wow you drink so much water, you're so healthy!!
- me: i cry so much i gotta stay hydrated